I wanted to take time to thank everyone for the wonderful words of support and encouragement for my 2 year sobriety anniversary.
Emotionally I am down today and I shouldn’t be. I guess I shouldn’t be. The last few weeks have been rough. I thought I had a job offer, then it looked like it fell through, and then today it looks like it is finally coming together. I should be happy.
Maybe it’s the transition of everything. From thinking I had a job right away, to facing the reality of unemployment (without actually being able to collect unemployment- that’s a whole other blog), to a husband who has a plan in his head in which he cannot seem to deviate.
I am a person in perpetual motion. If I sit still too long I feel like I get a little nutty. Since I have been home from Afghanistan I have had quite a few emotional and psychological challenges to deal with. My kids have been here for a couple of weeks now and I am so grateful and blessed to have such awesome kids.
I am going to start really looking for a counselor who specializes in addiction counseling and post traumatic stress disorder. I am still having high levels of anxiety and I really don’t want to sink into an addiction to anti-anxiety medication and sleeping pills. It starts to make sense though- that maybe my alcoholism was me self medicating through a mental health issue I have probably always had (now made worse by having spent a year in a war zone).
The moral of the story though- I made it two years sober and do not plan on trading alcohol for a medicine cabinet full of pills to compensate for just having emotions.
I have been unable to get into the gym lately because of a surgical procedure I had done 6 weeks ago- but should be cleared for full exercise shortly.
It’s time to set some goals… and keep moving forward.