ok...so hate is a strong word. But. I drove 3 hours for a job interview then talked like I had a mouth full of peanut butter! Really. Even I thought I sounded ridiculous. My interviewing skills are usually VERY GOOD- but not today. Feeling like an idiot really has me struggling today and feeling like an idiot for a 3 hour drive back home isn't so great either. This is the first day since I decided on sobriety that I really really contemplated having a drink. Blah! I am so mad at myself right now.
I am home now- planning on staying holed up tonight wallowing in self pity and starting life again tomorrow. Wouldn't be nice if we were given at least one "do over" day per year? This would be mine!!!!
yes, it would be nice for a do-over day. but i would need more than one a year! you are doing great. you keep writing/speaking honestly and i think that is where strength and healing comes from. "they" keep telling me that the truth will set me free. some days are easier than others though.
ReplyDeletehang in there sweetie, you are doing great.
daisy
get thee to a meeting or just start your day over right now, we can anytime we want :)
ReplyDeleteSorry you had such a sucky day! Those are the days that I know I need to sit in a meeting. Staying holed up feeds the power of my alcoholic mind. Getting my butt to a meeting always brings relief.
ReplyDeleteLook at how much progress you're making... Spending the first sober week alone without your husband; and going for a job interview.
ReplyDeleteProgress, not perfection... much respect, --G
Thanks for all the positive thoughts....
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