I have been enjoying a nice long lazy weekend. Finally got out today to pick up some dry cleaning and get my hair done. I have been doing a lot of sleeping this weekend. I guess the daily grind of the work week has really been catching up with me.
I did a little bit of Christmas shopping today and while I was out I passed through a convenience store with all of its wine and beer. Early in recovery it felt like I had an angel on one shoulder and a devil disguised as a liquor bottle on the other shoulder. Like somehow the alcohol was encouraging and taunting me. “Just buy me.. you know you want to.” A few months ago I avoided any section of a store with alcohol in it- like it was the great evil aisle that meant to do me harm. Today when I passed by I didn’t feel threatened. It seems ridiculous upon writing that an inanimate object felt threatening- but it did. I don’t know how to explain it- or if it even makes sense. What I do know is that early in sobriety it was hard to even be around alcohol- like the bottles themselves were able to talk me into drinking.
I am thankful that early in my recovery people reminded me every day that I wouldn’t think about drinking every moment of every day. I don’t know if I believed it then- but it’s true. Thankfully.
Love your Alice quote, I have a few quotes from Alice myself saved in my bank of favorites. They seem appropriate. :)
ReplyDeleteI totally get where you're coming from with this idea. I've been there myself. Weird that something so much a part of my every day life becomes as important as kitty litter without a cat. Cant think of any good use for kitty litter if I haven't a cat.
For me, drinking/using was a big habit. Albeit one I could not break on my own. ... I'm still real early in recovery. But now I'm coming up against the habits of thinking that are difficult to break. People remind me that I won't always think this way... It takes work though, huh?
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