I remember when I first starting thinking I should sober up
that I spent a lot of time looking for blogs that I could relate to. What I
came across were pages of people who had been sober for years and “website
graveyards” of sobriety blogs that detailed the beginning of sobriety that were
no longer being updated. If they were
like one of my many first attempts at blogging my way to sobriety they went
straight back to drinking- unable to continue to make note of their journey
into sober living.
The blogs of people with years and years of sobriety were
overwhelming, and at the time I thought, had reached a goal that was
unattainable to me. When I look at my stats for my blog I see that the most
searched phrase of people who read my blog was “3 weeks sober”. It leads them
to my post of the same title here.
When I started blogging I wasn’t overwhelmingly concerned with helping others get sober. I was just trying to make myself accountable to someone (anyone!!) for my sobriety. Now I feel differently. While the bulk of my posts last year were desperation posts trying to find a way to cope and make it through a yearlong deployment in a war zone my future posts won’t be. I hope that I can be of help to someone else trying to sober up.
So I began to ask myself- how do I remain relevant for the newly sober? I can’t very well relive my first few months of sobriety (nor would I want to- blech!) One thing I have learned in the almost two years I have been sober- for me- it doesn’t feel like I have been sober for that long. It’s not the same struggle it was 2 years ago (not by any means). But it’s still there. The nagging knowledge that I am an alcoholic in recovery. I still wonder, on occasion, if I am “recovered” yet. Or if that is even a state we can every get to. Sometimes I ask myself if I could have a drink or two. That maybe I am done being an alcoholic now. (I can’t, and I still am!)
While I continue to ponder how I can remain relevant to newly sober I’d like to show you the first sobriety website I found- The Discovering Alcoholic. I posted on the website (while still drunk I am sure), almost two years ago, that I knew it was time to get sober. TDA wrote me back. He encouraged me at that time to not base my own sobriety on the timeline of someone else- but to start counting by the hour if I needed to, or the minute. That’s what I did. Screedler keeps the site up these days and I have to say- this site (in my opinion) is relevant to everyone, in all stages of sobriety!
There is no tenure in the recovery world or a system of sober seniority, it is impossible to remain relevant as a recovery advocate through abstinence alone. Sober is plain, sober is boring, and sober is dull and rarely interesting enough to read. Sober is also scary; it is waking up after a decade(s) of drinking and facing the mess. Recovery however is vibrant life; it is service and sacrifice, friends and family, success and failure, and even unadulterated pleasure. Recovery is “doing”… you certainly have been “doing” quite a bit these last two years and have shared your tale.
ReplyDeleteThrough your words and even more by your actions, you promote recovery by providing resolution that does not exist to those viewing life blurred by the prescription plastic lenses that sandwich cheap vodka. There is so much more to recovery than just not drinking as you clearly illustrate even when healing imperfectly. Welcome home, and thank you for your service.
Gavin/TDA
Thank you for hanging in there! So many aren't able to. And, welcome home!
ReplyDeleteThat's crazy, but I guess not, that most people come across your blog by searching "3 weeks sober" because that's how I got here! Thanks for the open journal to your new life of sobriety. If anything, its helped me. Almost 4 weeks and your posts are encouraging. I'm relating to a lot of what you've written.
ReplyDeleteRob- I am glad my blog is beneficial to you. Good luck on your sobriety.
ReplyDelete