Life is moving forward. I continue to move along with it in
a nice sober state.
Alcoholism is no longer the primary concern in my life as I
try to wrap my brain around what is going on in …well… my brain.
When I first got home from Afghanistan I already knew that I
was having some issues. I had been having nightmares for almost a year now. The
anxiety kicked in around January. I have suffered from depression before- but
this is much different than the overwhelming sadness I have felt in the past.
Now I just feel a sense of darkness.
The first psychiatrist I visited 3 weeks after I got back to
the states prescribed Ambien to sleep, Klonipin for anxiety, and Prazosin for
nightmares. I had a pretty good idea that Ambien and Klonipin together was not
a great idea so I don’t take much ambient.
I spoke to another psychiatrist on Friday who agreed and
moved me to an anti-depressant, kept me on Klonipin with the hopes that the
anti-depressant would decrease my anxiety so I could quit that.
I am not a big fan of being on klonipin. I don’t take it
unless I am extremely anxious because it reminds me too much of drinking.
I have another appointment for a PTSD evaluation on
Monday. I don’t even care at this point
to put a name on what is going on with me. I just want to feel normal.
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