Tuesday, December 27, 2011

2011 Reflections

2011 has been my first year totally sober – probably since I was 15 years old. I did, on one occasion, have a “near beer” though it wasn’t because I had a desire to pretend that I could drink. I actually felt remarkably guilty after I had it. When I first stopped drinking I didn’t really understand the big deal with non-alcoholic beer, it seemed like a reasonable alternative to going without. Now it just feels like I am trying to trick myself into thinking it’s ok to drink. 
I have spent a majority of this year in Afghanistan. This deployment has changed me profoundly. I feel remarkably older and wiser (though I am definitely not a spring chicken anymore). I have managed to get myself into the best shape, physically, that I have ever been in. And now with the absence of alcohol to derail all of my weight loss I should manage to maintain where I am. 
So far I have managed to stay sober without meetings, support groups, or a sponsor.  My husband has been my strength, and as a non-drinker himself, always has my back. I love him and appreciate him more than I can ever express.  My way may not be the best for everyone- but it has worked for me. I recommend you do whatever is necessary for you to get sober. And in all honesty, I may find a meeting I like when I get home… 
In 2012 I plan to maintain my sobriety. I hope that I can help someone else get sober. I also hope that I can keep up with this blog a little more effectively. Posting is horribly tedious over here…. It takes a good 45 minutes just to get connected. 
I want to thank everyone who has provided support and advice. I also want to thank all the writers of the blogs I read. Again, my connection makes it extremely difficult to post comments on other blogs but I read faithfully.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

The longest month...

I am feeling pretty homesick lately. I guess it's the combination of having just been home and the holidays. When I first got back to Afghanistan I was tasked with a pretty big project that took up my entire day. Now things have settled down quite a bit and the days just drag on.
I haven't been going to the gym that much either, so I am sure that isn't helping my mood! I need to get motivated to get back in there and keep pushing forward. It's time to plot out a new set of goals and work hard to achieve them.