Tuesday, June 24, 2014


4 years sober. Incredible.
If I can do it anyone can.
I lost track of my sober date, so when I came to my blog to check it out I was surprised that I had missed it. That's how life gets though, after you have been sober for a while. I stopped counting a long time ago but I still say the milestones out loud to a few of the people closest to me.
I can't imagine what my life would be like right now if I had come home from Afghanistan as an alcoholic. It's hard enough managing PTSD without the added burden of being a drunk! It's a sad reality for a lot of veterans though. Self medicating through alcohol is huge in the military community. I still have friends who drink but a majority of them don't. That has been critical in recovery. You know what else I notice? The fact that my husband and I don't drink encourages other people around us not to drink. It's kind of awesome. We are in a position now of helping others who drink too much. It's easier for me to talk about to other people. My husband even refers some of our clients to me when they admit to him that they think they might have a problem with drinking.
When I started on my path to sobriety I didn't tell anyone. I just sobered up. When my husband noticed that I wasn't drinking anymore I admitted to him that I knew that I was an alcoholic. And you know what? He was so proud of me for quitting. He asked me why I didn't tell him earlier. I realized at that time that I had to get sober for myself. Not for him, not for anyone else, for me.
Eventually I told my cousin/best friend. She was a long time drinking buddy and it was a hard thing to do. She loved me anyways. And life went on just like that. Sober.
I have had my ups and downs. It hasn't been easy all the time but something stuck with me. I can't remember where I read this- so if you wrote it let me know. I read a story about a guy who sobered up. Some time later his daughter died and he turned to alcohol. Then he said, "When I sobered up I realized she was still dead." This stayed with me because sometimes when things get bad I remember that. No matter what happens- if I start drinking the problem/issue/pain is still going to be there when I sober up.
I'm 4 years sober.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

1 second, 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year....and now almost 4 years sober.

I have been thinking about this blog a lot even though I don't find my way here very much anymore. I was thinking about how daunting it was to think about being sober FOREVER. It just seemed so impossible. I looked at the future and couldn't see a sober "me" anywhere. Then someone told me to stop thinking so big and start thinking smaller. Like one second at a time small. And the time passed just like that. The higher my sobriety counter got the more I really really really didn't want to have to start it over.
So here I am- one thousand four hundred and eight days sober. That's 52 day shy of 4 years. And you know what? I remember more of the last 1408 days than I remember the previous 9 years before that!