Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Has it been a year yet?

 It feels like I have been here F.O.R.E.V.E.R.! !!!! Ok… not forever- but July sure took a long time to get through.  I am trying to find some things that I can to help me keep moving forward emotionally and physically. I have been working out quite a bit and am getting in pretty good shape. I am also going to be sign up for my first ever 5k race in September. I have been reading the bible a lot along with some devotional passes to work on my mental health. But somehow, I don’t think I am doing as well as I could be. I have been suffering from a pretty significant bout of depression and feel like I am not performing as well as I should be at work, which is funny because they just took my teammate away because I was “holding it down on my own.” I guess they really mean it when they say “Army of one!” I guess once I get myself together mentally I will really blow them out of the water.  So, this is my dilemma- what the hell do I do with myself to get myself out of this emotional funk that I am in? I work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. I go to the gym 6 days a week and have gained a lot of muscle and have lost 14 pounds so far (6 more to go to reach my goal!) I read at night before I go to bed- yet there is still this huge void in me right now. Sigh…


  1. Do you have any meetings to go to? Any friends in the fellowship? It must be difficult. Bless your heart.

  2. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Do you meditate?

  3. Mary- no meetings here. Everyone is mandatory to be sober here!
    Jeremy- I have been thinking about meditating- I guess I really just don't know how to start!

  4. Stick with it, I was always told, 'give it time, it will get better'. As for meditation, the big book describes it in step 11, or get some guidance at I've used the free stuff here for a couple of years now, and find it works well.

    Take care, Keith

  5. Just some suggestions...
    Are you getting adequate nutrition/vitamins? Have you had your thyroid tested recently? Can you pick up a hobby (I know you have little free time) in which you work with your hands-beading, knitting, stone polishing, photography? Have you read an engaging novel recently? Do you have access to religious outlets? Can you practice yoga?
    The other thing to remember is that you are far away from home and people you love, still in relative early stages of recovery, and working like a dog...I think having feelings of depression is a very natural response to the circumstances.