Saturday, November 3, 2012


I was supposed to travel with work last week. Originally I was scheduled to be gone for 4 weeks and then that changed to 3 weeks. On the day I was scheduled to leave I had an anxiety attack and called my boss and made up a lie about my childcare provider not coming through for me. Since I am on the east coast and Hurricane Sandy was on it's way I got a pass. I doubt I will get another one.
Right now the thought of travelling away from my kids is overwhelming. I am in a desperate rush to find a new job that does not require me to travel.
I feel that I have gotten too dependent on my anxiety medication (even though it's a small dose) so I am taking action. On Monday I am starting my workout plan. My workouts will coincide with the time my son is training for his high school sport- so I have no excuse not to be out and moving too.
I am thankful to be sober. I think back a lot to how I used to handle everything. I think back to waking up and having a drink then falling asleep- then doing it all over again. Now I am emotionally available to my kids and it shows.

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