I feel removed from alcoholism right now. Usually I feel that little tugging that reminds me that I have to be diligent against drinking. I am not delusional into thinking that I am no longer an alcoholic, I know that I will always be. But right now it just feels different.
My life has improved significantly since I quit drinking. Now I cannot imagine why I spent so much time drinking myself to sleep. I am enjoying a remarkable relationship with my kids. I know that if I was in my previous routine I would not be spending as much quality time with them.
We are all healing emotionally from being apart the past year. They went through some difficulties while I was gone and it is wonderful to see them gain self confidence and to see them show their wonderful personalities. I feel like I really am a good role model for them now. I had a conversation with my daughter (who will be off to college next year) and we started talking about drinking and how being drunk in college can increase her chances of being sexually assaulted. I was able, for the first time in my life, to say, “well, you see me that me and your step-father don’t drink, and we have a great time.” She said “yeah, I know!” It transformed my feelings of being an alcoholic to a sober role model. Amazing.