I realize one of the keys to my successful sobriety has been
to be around other people who don't drink. In particular I am talking about my
husband- but it goes beyond just him. My husband is currently deployed and I
have my kids with me. They continue to
help me maintain my sobriety.
While thinking about my keys to success I started thinking
about a trend that exists in my life. Since I divorced in 2001 I was fortunate
to date some really amazing men. Some of
them are still amazing, some are bullets that I definitely dodged (I know this
thanks to successful Facebook stalking!). While I was dating I primarily sought
out men who weren't interested in a long term relationship (I wasn't looking
for one either) so it has been easy throughout the years to maintain a
friendship. Not matter how long I go without talking to one of them we don't
miss a beat when we pick up a conversation and talk about old times.
Interestingly enough- they have a habit of all contacting me
around the same time. Like I have some beacon that puts out a Bat Signal
shouting, "I am lonely, vulnerable, bored..." So lately this has been
true. I have been receiving emails from some of the men in my past. I realize
now that one thing we had in common at the time was a mutual love for drinking.
I don't think they are all alcoholics- they seem to have the
ability to know when to stop- a sense I have never possessed. Either way- we
spent a lot of time drinking. It's seems strange now to talk to some of them. I
don't think I would have been able to stay sober so successfully if I had ended
up with one of them. I think the party would have continued to roll right
along.
Having a life partner who doesn't drink made this struggle
less daunting. Being around someone who doesn't drink has been an integral part
of my success. Especially in that first year where the habit of ordering/buying
a drink was so strong. While I know there will times that I may be tested
before he comes home 8 months from now- I can now (with a lot more conviction)
volunteer to the the group D.D. if I decide to hang out with friends who drink.
No comments:
Post a Comment