Friday, February 25, 2011

I'm Cranky

Maybe it's because I have been in the house for so long, or the lack of exercise,  or maybe it's because the hostess seated a couple who got to a restaurant AFTER me in a much better seat BEFORE me, maybe it's because I stubbed my little toe so hard against a stupid piece of firewood that it is sure to be broken. Hell...maybe it's because I took stupid vicodin to not be in pain from surgery and I am going through another detox- trying to cleanse my body of all toxins again. Or maybe it's because I have been so stinking bored. Maybe it's the stupid IRS pushing back the delivery of our income tax return that is going to help us get through this time I have been off work. I don't know what it is- my best bet is that it is a combination of all of these things- but I am in temper tantrum- lay on the floor, stomp my feet, roll around crying- temper tantrum mode.
Sigh... the positives
- I went to see The Kings Speech today (good movie). I really wanted to watch Black Swan before it disappears from every theater but I didn't want to fight traffic to get to the rundown theaters that still have it!
- I am thoroughly rested having gotten more sleep that everyone except a hibernating bear.
- I have gotten to spend some wonderful time at home with my husband.
- The 800 mg of motrin have numbed the pain in my toe.
- The pain meds are thoroughly out of my system and I can think again- will have to start that book soon, now that I'll be able to remember it.
- I am sober- even though I don't particularly care to be at this exact moment. But I realize that drinking will then just make me a cranky hung-over person. Blah.
Lately (of course with the moodiness) I have been focusing on the "fun" part of drinking. I can say without a doubt that my carefully constructed, very busy, normal life keeps me sober without too much issue. I love being home, but I am ready to get back to being busy to give my mind a rest from this constant bombardment of crankiness.


  1. Hi there,

    Congratulations on 250 days sober:)

    The landmarks, the marks of time go by and the hours clock up. Mind boggling where the days go, really.

    I think you are doing a remarkable job of staying sober, well done.

    Taking pain medications and spending time breaking up the routine can affect the feelings and thinking a bit. Sometimes it's enough to make one turn the head and consider other alternatives...

    Good on you for writing it all down. I think you've got much of this sorted. You are doing a great job of sorting through it.

    Keep going


  2. Thank you Paul. I am surprised by how fast the time is moving. I remember those first days seemed to drag on forever and that counter up there was not always a welcome sight. Now I hardly look at it. I also used to be intimidated by people with long periods of sobriety- but now I see, that even after all this time the struggle is still brand new.

  3. I saw the Kings speech last night! I just loved it. Thanks for becoming a follower on my blog as it led me to you, You inspire me. I love your description of blog graveyards. My blog almost became a graveyard after a relapse. No more. Sobriety is just too spectacular.