Last night was my last one on nights- thank goodness. Something just doesn't feel right to me being wide awake at 4am.
I am laying here trying to reflect on the week and decompress.
It's hard to come home on a caffeine high. I can't deny the thought that normally a drink would have helped me go right to sleep. My thoughts of alcohol lately have not been wistful- just another realization that I would normally have done that and it is no longer an option- so time to go with plan B. When I have thoughts of drinking now I remind myself that it's not an option. I am more sensitive to other peoples recommendations that it's time for happy hour, or to have a drink. I find that I am not anywhere near interested in humoring them with the notion. No one at work knows I am in recovery- which I figure is just as well as I can't live a life where no one ever talks about having a drink. I usually just deflect whatever they are saying by telling them I'd rather have a nap than a drink!
Speaking of naps.. or bedtimes- it is mine- though I feel pretty caffeinated I am sure my brain will slow down once my eyes close.