I am approaching my 100 day mark of sobriety. I can say with quite a bit of certainty that this is the longest I have gone without alcohol since my son was born in 1998. I don’t know if I was an alcoholic back then. I don’t think I was, though I am sure I was planting a seed. At that time I didn’t wander around wondering when I would get to drink again. I was too busy with school and being a young mother and wife.
I can pinpoint the deterioration to when my marriage started to fall apart. I wasn’t happy in my marriage and started to drink more and more. Then when I was finally divorced I used the time my kids weren’t with me to live it up and drink. When the kids were with me I waited until they were asleep to get smashed- but I was still drinking. Pretty soon I was taking an anti-depressant and the urge to drink had diminished but the habit was going strong. It stayed strong.
I feel good now. I was talking with my husband last night about how when I was drinking I didn’t have any goals or ambition. Right now I have a lot of time on my hands- but that is about to change. I have started to make a list of goals that I want to accomplish.... but that is another blog.