Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I start my new job on Monday, so today I drove up to the city to move some stuff into my room and do my pre-employment drug screen. I always feel a little frazzled after driving and couldn’t help but notice that Hooters right on the corner. Three months ago I would have stopped to have a drink with the excuse of celebrating a new beginning.
Another thing I have noticed- one would think that after my long talk with my husband that I would feel liberated and stronger about not drinking. Oddly enough I don’t feel that way. I almost feel like I have the potential to fall back in to the sneaking behavior. Now that he knows it’s not ok for me to ever drink again I feel this horrible strain. Somehow when it was my independent struggle I didn’t have to hide anything. There are no liquor bottles to hide, no alcohol breath to hide, nothing- it was a relief. Now, I am accountable to someone other than myself…. It feels like a not good thing- but I know that it is a good thing.  


  1. I would always kick myself for admitting my drink problem to other people. It was putting added pressure on my attempts to quit. I would also feel irritated because they would treat me different because I’d said this. I knew that if I drank again it they would never accept it as just social drinking – they would add to my guilt. The great thing now though is that I am happy to admit to anyone about my previous problems. I’m not going back there. It took me a long time to reach this stage but I’ve no doubt that you will feel this way too. You are doing really well and should be proud of yourself.

  2. congratulations on your job!

    just only have to not drink today. 24 hrs at a awfulizing the are doing amazingly well...hugs :)

  3. just wanted to pop in and say hi. you are doing so well. i'm so happy for you and your husband.

    take care


  4. It is wonderful that you are doing so well. There is a really great blog that I visit it is

    The writer's name is Syd and he is the husband of an alcoholic. He has great words of wisdom, it has helped me in dealing with my son who is a recovering heroin addict.

    I'll be keeping you in my prayers.