Challenges

I started my new job this week. So far so good- no complaints, and compared to what I used to do its pretty easy money. Chances for promotion are high as well.

I am experiencing some challenges in recovery. I am a “geo-bachelor”- renting a room in the city during the week and commuting home on Friday night (driving back up Monday morning). This first week has been another eye opening experience. Another example of having to re-learn old behavior. The location in which I work is a busy town center. There are bars and happy hour signs everywhere. There are tons of places to eat between my work and my new residence.  I spend 90% of the time at this house by myself.  The owner has beer in the fridge and a stocked alcohol cabinet. I go out to eat by myself. These are all challenges for me.  Loneliness is not a wonderful feeling.

I took a week to try and learn the ins and outs of the city before I started on my list of things to do. On Monday I have no excuses. I have committed to taking a few classes this semester that start on Monday. I found a Shambhala Meditation group that focuses on recovery. It meets once a week and I emailed the leader of the group today. I also need to find a gym so that I can start releasing some endorphins. 

I think the hardest part about this phase of my recovery is at times I tell myself that I don’t give a damn what people think about me drinking. I start thinking about ways that I can go back to hiding my drinking.  A short while ago I was kicking myself for telling my husband everything. Now I am happy that I did- because I know he can offer support and a zero tolerance level for my drinking.