I still feel like I am struggling. I am pretty sure this is my longest stint of sobriety since probably around 2001. I don't know if it's a time thing, or just that regular internal struggle. I understand how people always feel like alcoholics. The thought of drinking crosses my mind a lot but I don't have a strong desire to drink, just that ever nagging feeling. Like something is lurking around the corner ready to jump out at me.
I had a conversation with one of my closest friends who now lives pretty far away. She texted me to tell me she was "on the wagon". I shared with her that I had been sober for over 77 days. We were drinking buddies when we lived close to each other. It was nice to talk to her though I don't think she is ready to stay sober forever. I think she is in the stage of thinking that some time she will be able to be in control of her drinking. I know that I don't have that capability.
There are big changes on my horizon. I will be living solo during the week while working in the city and coming home on the weekends. My plan is to stay as busy as possible- maybe even get a second job. I am sad to have to be away from my husband who gives me strength. Though I have a feeling that being away from each other during the week will help us not to take each other for granted.