Monday, February 28, 2011

Frozen

I am paralyzed by a bout of depression. I don’t know where it came from but I have been laying in this bed for way too long with no desire to get out. Not the “you need your rest” type of laying. I feel debilitated and sad. I have contemplated reasons  for the last several days. There are plenty of reasons for me to feel like this but I make no excuses.

I often wrestle with the prospect of taking anti-depressants again but I like NOT taking them. I like being able to “snap myself out of it”. Usually exercise is a partial anti-depressant but I can’t do that for another couple of weeks. I have a million other ideas as to how to get myself out of this but the blanket of depression is heavy and hard to get out from under.   

5 comments:

  1. sorry to hear this. i too battle depression and it is truly just like a blanket. it will pass - hang on in there.

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  2. I personally have been avoiding anti depressants for months. You're in a recovery period on top of a recovery. Are you seeing a therapist? Meditating? Praying? Moving as much as you can?
    I hate to leave the house, avoid it, get panic attacks....but each day I go out somewhere. This has helped me.
    I understand how you're feeling.

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  3. Joker- thank you.
    Julie, I am usually very active- I stay so busy I don't have time to think. I am usually a geographic bachelor- meaning I work about 3 hours from my home. So, I rent a place during the week in the city and come home on the weekends. When I am up there I leave my rental at 7am and usually don't get back until 9pm. Since I have had surgery I have been able to stay home for the last two weeks. I guess putting on the breaks in such a huge way has impacted me more than I thought it would. Thank you for your advice.

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  4. Hi, it sounds like you are having it tough. The fact that you are talking about must be a help. I'm not qualified to offer advice and anything I’ve got to say you’ve probably heard a million times before. I used to suffer a lot with depression but don’t anymore – I feel that meditation has helped me greatly with this, but apparently this can also exacerbate the symptoms for some people meditating alone. I send you my best wishes anyway.

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  5. I sure know that feeling. It was so scary to feel out of control and unable to just think myself or will myself out of depression.

    It seemed so clear, (i'm a bright girl with what I believe is a very strong will) that I should be able to control my mood and emotions.

    I sure know that feeling. (((sigh)))

    I found that really finding and nurturing a spiritual connection helped me.

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