Friday, July 30, 2010

Forever ever?

I am having one of those days where I wish there could be some time in the future when I won't be an alcoholic. I had a really good job interview today- and I couldn't help but think if I get the opportunity to travel with this company how hard it might be to be in an airport and not go for drinks at the airport bar. Or to have (or think I can have just one) a glass of wine at happy hour with co-workers, or any number of combinations of experiences that might require I actually use willpower to say no! sigh...
It's moments like these when I have a conversation with myself- Me-  "you have to stop drinking forever!", Me2- "forever ever?" Me-"Forever ever!", Me2- "sob!" 
Side note: 39 days sober and 9 lbs lighter..and really really really going to start training on Monday!

1 comment:

  1. hi healing imperfectly,

    i just started my blog today about the other side of the coin. namely, learning to deal with my son's addictions. i am inspired by your blog and your words. it is very brave of you. i'm out searching for anything i can read on-line about recovery. i attend families anonymous but feel the need to put my thoughts on paper, so to speak.

    i don't know if it's the same for alcoholics as it is for the enabler but i swear to god, i have to live one day at a time. this disease sucks.